The Grind

Whatever you read here is usually out of a Sci-fi piece... hardly anything written here is real. But you be the judge.

Grind it out. I see many people on facebook and around social media with their hearts out, transparency, honesty. I love it. I love that people are becoming/have become/are being forced to become more emotional and sentient beings. Some people share heart breaking stories about their parents, their jobs, their health. Many people have feelings of suffering, of pain, and heartache. Grind it out. Head down, eyes up, steady pace. Grind it out. Whatever the task, the problem, the suffering, grind it out. Sitting and doing nothing for the moment is OK. We all need a moment to relax, take everything in, and refocus. But the problems we have don't go away. We have to face them eventually. So when they come at you, financial difficulties, health, death, life, suffering, doing nothing does nothing. Being stagnant eventually does worse than nothing. Grind it out. Put one foot in front of the other every day. Keep moving. Don't stand still. Find the 1% silver lining in every bad situation. But keep grinding it out. Never stop. The cycle that you are on will come to an end. The rollercoaster of life that has happiness and suffering will bring you back up again in an arc after you have dipped to a low curve. The sound of the grinding of the coaster's gears remind us of that. For sculptures, the grinding is what shapes rock into chiseled beauty. One day you will see the beauty in why you are suffering at the moment. Until then, head down, eyes up. Grind it out. You're not alone.   #grinditout #buddhism #nonottheappAdamKent

I wrote this the other day, then read Aubrey Marcus' post. Listening to him and thinking of myself, his post is filled with beauty, hardly any suffering in it. My post is just filled with suffering and hardly any beauty in it. It got me to thinking. Even though I am suffering right now, sleeping in my car, sleeping on random couches, having to get hotel rooms, and all through it teaching from whatever wifi I can get. Sometimes even the hotel rooms would drop me on their signal or others (Residence Inn) had none whatsoever and I had to change hotel rooms at 3am so I could be up to teach at 6 am. At the RI I was teaching, sitting on the floor of a dirty stairwell hallway with crack heads and prostitutes walking past me because it was the only place in the hotel with working wifi. I've had to drive to Cincinnati about 3 times in 6 weeks. I had to do some crazy insane schedule that had, like a 3 day plan of teach, sleep for a few hours, get errands done, teach, sleep for 2 hours, teach, sleep for an hour, teach sleep for 1/2 hour, then drive to Cincinnati shaking my head away the whole time, to go right back to teaching, and few hours of sleep. I think about the past 8 months... the path I've been on, the path I chose to take and damn, if there aren't huge fucking speed bumps, pot holes, roadside hazards, patrolling cops, and accidents at the yin/yang, and I think that even though I'm struggling, I look at the positive. I now have two nights off. I haven't had 2 nights off in a row (except for Canada, which was glorious) since I've been in Nashville, which is about 7 weeks. For 7 weeks I have worked everyday teaching, every day that I have a car and that I can, am physically able to, I go out and drive UBER. One day this will be in a book too, whether I write it or someone else does. It's The Grind. I was put into it to keep me here for the time being. Again. 

So, for you guys that are monitoring my "well-being", just checking. Most of what is going to come out of my mouth from here on out is going to be in a video log. There is too much to say, think, and feel right now and I don't want to miss anything. But even though this is The Grind and for a few months it's going to be tiresome and I'm going to be sleepy, I fucking love this. Bring it on, bring more of it on. The more all of this sinks in, the more I'm feeling empowered, like in a way that makes me see the picture in my mind more clearly. The picture was never in doubt, it was always there. But now the visions, the premonitions, and the deja vu are clearer and happening more often.