Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you've been punched in the gut? Like... you waited to get the job you wanted only to find out that the seeds you once had in your bag unknowingly might prevent you from getting a visa in another country, not to mention barred from two in Asia, possibly more? Nah, me neither. Angst.
Have you ever wanted to punch everything around you including the air? Like... you decide to take a huge risk and life change only to get knocked down... hard. Like, one of the only hard times in your life you're gonna get knocked down like that. But you get up, don't quit, and keep going. You take time during the adjustment and find a new place, new job, new secondary job, new bicycle, new gym. You reach your goal. You were able to take the step knowing you were going to get knocked down, probably harder than you've ever been knocked down before, but you do it anyway. And you're fine. You make new life plans only to then be kicked in the balls. Everything that you had saved up and worked for to make happen after that huge risk, everything that you gathered together and organized is then threatened for weeks to then be relieved, and then kicked in the balls. Aggression.
I realized that these feelings I have are normal, but the way I'm handling them are pretty average. Whatever is meant to happen always does. But look at the facts. Yeah, I fucked up back in the day unintentionally, unknowingly, and unwittingly for which I am now getting the karma kick in the face for it. But it isn't so bad if I think about it, because I realized that getting a travel ban from two countries means I've been living my life exactly the way I want to. That sounds a bit reckless, but when you've made the promise to yourself already that you're not going to sacrifice your beliefs and who you are for things, especially when you're not hurting a damn person for it, you've got to stick to your guns no matter what the consequences. So fuck average and fuck changing who you are, regardless of the consequences it may bring. Fuck average.
Finding Jack 420: The Prequel is coming along VERY nicely. So fun. By the time you read this though you're not going to be able to see the pictures though... but you can download it for FREE :) More later.