aliens

Antics and rants

This could be fact or fiction, but if you ask yourself which it could be, then fuck you. We all live in a simulation anyways... 

Kopurnikkan

I am Edgar Phillipe.  Before I met you I was in. Before I was antagonized, teased by you, manipulated, observed, followed, tracked, and defiled, I was in. 

Your tactics don't justify your means. Not at all. That is why I am still saddened by what I have been awakened to. But to have this in my reality now and choose to walk away or be in gives me that strength and happiness that I've been seeking since Our Meeting. I am not sprinting to what you feel I need to be, nor am I attaching myself to that idea either. Because attachment is what causes suffering. Even yourselves to what preconceived notions you might have is causing your suffering. Free yourselves. You have no control to what is going to happen, less now that I see what really is. 

Maybe this is your way to coax me into doing what is meant to happen--but maybe what is meant to happen is now what will definitely not happen the way you thought. Maybe now it can be done in a different way. 

On Earth, from my vision--September 2007. Southeast Asia. Heat lightning in the clouds around the humid glow of the luminary sunset. Calm water around us and the islands in the distance. A coked up director with a camera pointed in the wrong direction. 15 guided souls that stammer their words in unison. A man on crutches who slurs his words and curses at the sky that forms into an inarguably blatant image of death and destruction on the planet. An image that shocked me across the universe into a giant ball of suffering for my mother who had been stolen from her planet, toyed with and experimented on, impregnated then detached from her son at birth. 

I was in since I saw that vision of heat lightning bursting in burning clouds of imagery. 

Angst, Aggression, Fuck Average, Amazing

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you've been punched in the gut? Like... you waited to get the job you wanted only to find out that the seeds you once had in your bag unknowingly might prevent you from getting a visa in another country, not to mention barred from two in Asia, possibly more?  Nah, me neither. Angst.

Have you ever wanted to punch everything around you including the air? Like... you decide to take a huge risk and life change only to get knocked down... hard. Like, one of the only hard times in your life you're gonna get knocked down like that. But you get up, don't quit, and keep going. You take time during the adjustment and find a new place, new job, new secondary job, new bicycle, new gym. You reach your goal. You were able to take the step knowing you were going to get knocked down, probably harder than you've ever been knocked down before, but you do it anyway. And you're fine. You make new life plans only to then be kicked in the balls. Everything that you had saved up and worked for to make happen after that huge risk, everything that you gathered together and organized is then threatened for weeks to then be relieved, and then kicked in the balls. Aggression.

I realized that these feelings I have are normal, but the way I'm handling them are pretty average. Whatever is meant to happen always does. But look at the facts. Yeah, I fucked up back in the day unintentionally, unknowingly, and unwittingly for which I am now getting the karma kick in the face for it. But it isn't so bad if I think about it, because I realized that getting a travel ban from two countries means I've been living my life exactly the way I want to. That sounds a bit reckless, but when you've made the promise to yourself already that you're not going to sacrifice your beliefs and who you are for things, especially when you're not hurting a damn person for it, you've got to stick to your guns no matter what the consequences. So fuck average and fuck changing who you are, regardless of the consequences it may bring. Fuck average.

Macro photography--amazing.

Finding Jack 420: The Prequel is coming along VERY nicely. So fun. By the time you read this though you're not going to be able to see the pictures though... but you can download it for FREE :) More later.