Buying... a van.

As always, what you read here could be fact or fiction. Not up to you to decide, just to enjoy.

A minivan actually. I have been shopping for mini vans lately.

3 reasons why:

1. I couldn't imagine a better vehicle to take camping with a group of people or even alone and have the ability to sleep inside. Like, real sleeping in a comfortable and warm position. Not to mention I'll have that room to haul stuff if I need to build something else. I'm addicted to building, especially after building my workout station in the backyard.

2. I'm just going to do the #andymitton thing and drive Uber. A minivan will give me the ability to make more money.

3. It is the least sexy car I could possibly have. This is what I want.

When I was at the dealership today our Middle Eastern salesman opens the door to a beautiful looking Nissan Quest and right away, that nice outside look this Nissan had turned to dirt dirt dirty on the inside. I had no qualms about telling him too, which he was embarrassed about. He is from the Middle East; they are a clean people, so this was to my advantage. When he leaned in to rest his elbow on the arm rest it fell completely off and he fell forward crashing into the seat as if the heavens opened and gave me one big comedic moment and a HUGE bargaining chip. I started complaining loudly how I drove 30 minutes to see a dirty car that's falling apart. He had his detailers out there reassuring me as he's sweating. He says to me, "It's $7000, but I'll give it to you for $6000." I smiled inside, let it pass for a moment, complained some more about the shit that was falling off the car and said, "well, it's listed for $5995, right?" and he hung his head low. I went on to show that I had already researched the Carfax report, one owner, no accidents. 

Tomorrow I'm going back to buy it if it doesn't fall apart when I take it for a test drive. It has a three month warranty for the big stuff. And I love bartering with a Middle Eastern, especially one that leans on an arm rest and breaks it off when he's showing it to me. What a cliche. Yeah, I'm going to buy it if it sounds and rides good. You know why? Because the goddamn number signs showed me all the way there to the car dealership.

The thing that got me was when he gave me his business card it said "Zach" on it. I asked him what his real name is. He got flustered and mumbled out the words, "well, in the Middle East Zach is short for Zachariah." But he lied about it, I mean about it being his name. He had those tells when he said it, eye aversion and whatnot that told me Zach is not his REAL birth name. Maybe he was hiding what really is a Muslim name. 

I drove home and realized that Zach is probably the name he is using so that people don't target him for having a Muslim name and being Muslim. It made me kind of sad, but then I thought that he might have a different name because he's trying to sell people cars that are $5 more than the list price and people are out to get him. Whatever the reason... another person for me to fight for to be free.